Dealing with a negative person is never pleasant, but blamers can be .. of Your Life by Catherine Pratt, ebook sold here Life With Confidence). for Confidence written by ‘Life with Confidence’ creator Catherine Pratt will give Catherine calls them blamers because they always blame everyone else but. But, what if the blamer is your mother and you don’t live with her? .. I have been finding Catherine Pratt’s book BLAMERS (Stop The Anguish.
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Do you live with a “blamer”? How do you get free of being the one blamed for everything that goes wrong?
I am asking a rhetorical question. I live alone, but when I was a child, and even into my young adulthood, I was hurt with blame. Wade and I have been discussing this, and I decided the topic needed to be opened to the community.
Hope this helps answer everyone’s questions Thanks, Juniper, for making me clarify my position. But, what if the blamer is your mother and you don’t live with her?
And you want to have a loving relationship with your mother, but she blames and criticizes and questions you for everything? As hard as it can be to hear in the midst of a blaming session, it’s never about the other person, it’s always about you. If it is true that we create every aspect of our realities which it is then we must also be creating the experience of other people blaming us for their own vibrational mishaps.
There must be some element within us that is attracting that behavior from them. So by changing the way you feel about them blaming you, they must change because you are attracting something different from them. The trap here is not to attempt that change when you are in the midst of being blamed because your noticing of their behavior will probably keep dominating your awareness and keep dragging you back to your habitual vibration. The time to attempt vibrational change is when they are not around perhaps asleepor even if they are in a good mood and you are enjoying being with them if your relationship has not already deteriorated beyond that point.
How to Deal With Blamers
Take those “alone” moments to move your vibrational setpoint using whatever method you prefer and then don’t look for evidence of change from them. Just make it your only target to be happy within yourself regardless of what they do and say good or badand eventually the behavior from them will change – but by that time you will be so secure in your own vibration that you may not even notice: Came across this Abraham quote today and thought it would be catherne adding here.
The last sentence is especially insightful. There’s something really important that most people don’t want to hear from us but we always tell cztherine anyway: The catherinw you’re being treated is because of the vibration that you’re offering and it feels the other way around.
It feels like they’re behaving a certain way and you’re responding to it and it doesn’t matter which came first, they can behave that way and you can respond, or you can have that vibration going on which evokes more of that behaviour. But it’s a cycle that only you can change. Because if you’re waiting for them to behave differently so that you can feel better, you’re always going to be waiting for that because they’re not that interested in creating your reality. You have to find a way of changing the way you’re responding and when you do, they have to offer you something different, they just have to.
You sort of have to do it at home, when you’re not with them, to change the momentum. If we were in your physical shoes, we’d go home, we’d find a way of feeling better about it, and then we’d go to work and see if it fixed anything.
The Power of Frustration
Then, we’d take whatever comes, fall from the plane, no parachute, go home, try to get another vantage point, then we’d go to work the next day and see if it fixed anything. And before you know it, you’re going to discover that you’ve accomplished a different point of attraction and things are going to shift. And what’s going to shift is, sometimes that guy goes away and another guy comes in that’s more in keeping with what you like.
Sometimes you get fired. The Universe is very clever about the way it yields something, but when one door closes another one always opens.
Or if you blamesr it through alignment, the other door always opens before the other door closes. I know what you say is about the Law Of Attraction, this seems if I change my vibration my father will change and that will change me too? I ctaherine the explanations of Catherine Pratt more, they are more precise but in a similar vane. Your last paragraph describes perfectly what I ended up doing and yes it works.
He is a changed man just as I am catnerine changed woman. Which I find sad in a way how when you’re catering to a loved one, doing all that you can to make them happy, they treat you like a door mat, and when you turn away and start taking care of yourself instead, they become appreciative!
If that’s not crazy, I don’t know what is, but our mates are one of our best teachers! Boamers have reached the point you mention. I have learned to just not care, and to go about my business But this attitude has not changed my family’s treatment of me one whit Jaianniah – if you are still noticing that their attitude has not changed, are you sure you have really learned not to care?
To understand what I mean, take a look at: Fairy Princess – It couldn’t be any other way. You are responsible for playing your part in blaers experience and she is playing hers. I notice in the space of one sentence, you used the words “fault” and “blame” Stingray -sometimes you say to improve your vibration of something and look for improvements vibrational matches and other times not to. Satori – Interesting point. I hadn’t noticed myself doing that before. I think it’s because I try to tailor the answer to the person asking it whenever possible.
If someone is stuck in lack and is having trouble identifying the feeling of lack within themselves then asking them to observe vibrational matches is probably going to re-trigger the lack and be self-defeating. Ideally, you would always want to use vibrational matches to boost byy confidence that things are changing. Stingray -I get it now. Although come to think you have said on catberine lot of occasions,to Not look for vibrational blaamers them come to you.
And in the case of Focus Blocks, you say, do the process just praht feel better, not to create a change, which I guess is what you also mean with this answer. Stingray – Yes, I said that on peatt. I have been doing some inward work, and bu reveals that my mom blames me for everything. This has caused me quite a bit of confusion and frustration.
How do you stop attracting blame blamerrs others? Fairy Princess – Ultimately it comes down to letting go of the meaning you’ve attached to this experience. When you let go of the “judgement” that your mom is blaming you, it takes the emotional sting out of it. Your mom is really being your best friend in highlighting what you are emitting vibrationally. That behavior could not exist in your reality unless it is matching something within you. It’s that “something” that needs cleaning up.
Stingray – She has done it my whole life. So where did that vibration come from? Fairy Princess – “She has done it my whole life” As your head emerged from your mother’s womb, a blamegs of fault and blame came out of your mother’s mouth directed towards you? I can’t speak for why you are vibrating how you are because I’m not you. But you don’t need to know what started it off in order to clear it now. Stingray – Thank you for your patience, you are such a blessing.
She gives me clues today that explain the way she has treated me as long as I can remember. She also is very direct about it sometimes.
Similar authors to follow
She says stuff like, “I was never that way before, you were such a difficult child. This is just one example. Yes, the whole point of any of it is to clear it up. Sometimes cathetine is a lot of work.
The first step is know what to clear. Stingray Thank Youthis Leapt off the page at meI’ve copied it to my desktop as a reminder, that I have done this before and almost instantly seen a difference.
Catherie – You’re welcome. Yes, the principle works prxtt relation to any kind of behavior that anyone displays to you. Abraham once suggested an experiment to anyone that didn’t caherine this principle Stingrayyes I have a vague recollection of Abraham saying about the difference in 2 waitress who looked after them and how a perception change of the second one was then reflected back to them soonest.
The funny thing is, I knew this and have successfully used it. Sometimes when we feel trapped, we can’t see the latch is already open. Stingray – Brilliant update Stingray.
Very insightful especially the last line as you say. Stingray – Your update is wonderful. I found this Abraham quote in my email this morning, and almost posted this in answer to my own question!
Synchronicity is exciting to me. Thank you for sharing. This is true for sure The trick to to learn what we are doing that is making us vulnerable to people who lack respect for others.
Stingray what about say general IT support staff maybe who gets blamed out of the blue when the systems go down, when the software has bugs, etc. I guess you could say the IT support staff attracted himself into such a job, but its hard to see how the blaming will stop if he stays in this line he could probably reduce the amount of blaming but there would still be a few unreasonable clients probably?
It’s not about avoiding the blame from “unreasonable” people, it’s about whether that blame bothers you at all. You can reach the place where you are so secure and calm within yourself that even someone shouting angrily directly at you has no effect on you. Stingray yup I get that one can just practise to a point where the blaming will not affect them in any way at all.