Read Aaron Lazare’s requirements for an effective apology. These attempted apologies and expressions of consolation failed to elicit. Aaron Lazare, M.D., a noted scholar on the psychology of shame and humiliation, offers a thoroughly engaging and lucid examination of an important and. On Apology, by Aaron Lazare. New York, Oxford University. Press, , pp., $ What a pleasure to read a book by a prominent psychiatrist.

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Liberal Democrat Ota’s comments on gangrape. Kirk Ashworth rated it really liked it Aug 06, This is a good read for people both with political and personal interests in apology. Author Aaron Lazare started out the book talking about the increase in apologies found in media outlets in recent years and the growing importance of apologies in an interconnected world: Although the apologies of the U. Acutely aware of a world in which nations, institutions, and individuals exist in an interdependent global village, his message contains both a hopeful call and a warning sign.

Lazare has done his research — there are extensive references throughout, and the book leans toward the scholarly side. Finally, the seventh healing factor is a dialogue that allows the offended parties to express their feelings toward the offenders and even grieve over their losses.

It actually breaks down what makes apologies fail, and how to make apologies succeed. Showalter adds that, in contrast, female writers make men live up to their misdeeds, “forgiveness comes the hard way: A third healing factor is validation that the victim was not responsible for the offense.

ComiXology Thousands of Digital Comics. This book is a testament to how the seemingly simple act of apology aology heal centuries-old wounds, bridge cultural and international misunderstandings, dissolve bitterness and resentment, and restore relationships of every kind. These situations aside, effective apologies are a tool for promoting cooperation among people, groups, and nations in a world plagued by war and conflict.

A sixth healing factor is reparation, when the victim receives some form of compensation for his or her pain. This book started out really boring. This book definitely informed my own work as I wrote “Inheriting the Trade” and will continue to inform my writing and my life. People hurt other people, even those we never mean to hurt and understanding the dynamics of making apologies in our lives is a very important part of human intera I read this book sometime ago.


We can surmise what personality traits in people make it particularly difficult for them to apologize: While interesting in places, I frequently found the book tedious. Readers will not only find a wealth of insight that they can apply to their own lives, but lazaare a deeper understanding of national and international conflicts and how we might resolve them.

She then said with smug pleasure apologu her face, “I love it when you apologize, Mother, because it makes you feel so foolish. Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. Amazon Inspire Digital Educational Resources. Very detailed and thought-provoking, but rather dry and dragging at times. This doesn’t pardon criminals from court justice, but it can help them repair their souls and do better in the future. The mortal sin is lying about it.


On Apology by Aaron Lazare

English Choose a language for shopping. They accept, respect, and even enjoy their emotions.

They also help assure apolgy offended party that the offense will not recur, and they apolovy the offender to make clear that he should have known better. Without an apology, it is difficult to imagine forgiveness accompanied by reconciliation or restoration of a trusting relationship.

With On ApologyAaron Lazare offers an eye-opening analysis of this vital interaction, illuminating an often hidden corner of the human heart.

Among the many little nuggets that make it worth reading Dec 20, J rated it really liked it.

On Apology

May 12, Christina rated it really liked it Shelves: In response, he often wants to return the gift by downplaying the damage done to himself, sharing part of the blame for the offense, or complimenting the offender in some way.

It is one of the main reasons so many of us hold on to grudges lazafe years. I also aadon a lack of good discussion about situations in which one person has to deliver a painful aaron to another, which the recipient perceives as “hurtful” or “offensive” and for which the latter expects an apology.


This book offers a wealth of insight applicable to our personal lives and, perhaps more important today, a deeper understanding of national and international conflicts and how we might resolve them. The Language of Public Apology. John Plummer to Kim Phuc.

Bryan Smith to Stephen King. A genuine apology offers explanation, a communication of remorse, and an offer of recompense. More of an academic study than a how-to guide but still a very easy read, I liked the parallels it began to draw between the legal system and religious parallels. David Brock to Anita Hill. Lazare also talks about ‘false’ apologies a lot, and why they are so unsatisfying.

This book talks about aaton some apologies succeed while others fail, focusing on apologies by individuals and collectives.

Schizophrenia and Psychotic Spectrum Disorders S. His analysis of Agamemnon’s apology to Achilles is on point. Chancellor and Dean Limited preview – Not every apology requires all four parts. People who offer forgiveness with an expectation of a future apology – such as a mother forgiving a murderer for killing her son, or a man forgiving a robber for robbing him.

To purchase, visit your preferred ebook provider. An effective explanation may mitigate an offense by showing it was neither intentional nor personal and is unlikely to recur. May 28, David rated it it was amazing. He also describes brief apologies, such as the ones you make after accidentally bumping into someone or keeping a borrowed book for six months.